Dear Friends,

We live in an age of unprecedented connectivity. With a swipe of a finger, we can see what is happening on the other side of the globe. Yet, as our digital worlds expand, our physical worlds, the ones inside our own living rooms and dining tables, are often shrinking. The reality of this was powerfully brought home to me at a recent workshop Fr. Paul and I attended at the diocese as part of our priests’ ongoing formation.

Just a few days after this workshop, I heard a very distressing story of a young child who shared the loneliness she often felt because her mother spent hours on TikTok and paid no attention to her. Whenever she reached out to her for a simple conversation, she was met with a familiar refrain: "Give me a moment." But that "moment," according to her, stretched into thirty minutes or more, while she waited in the shadows of the glowing screen. I was not only moved by this story but also deeply appalled by the damage the misuse of technology is doing to our families and to our children.

Dear parents, remember that there is a high cost to every “scroll” when it is at the expense of our little ones. When we choose the screen over the child, we are not just looking at videos; we are unintentionally sending a message and causing severe damage to them. To a child, attention from you is the ultimate currency of love, even when, at times, they come to you with numerous childish questions. When that attention is consistently diverted to a device, the child learns a painful lesson: What is on this screen is more interesting and more important than I am.

On that note, while technology is a useful tool, it can also be a thief because it steals:

• The "Golden Moments": The spontaneous questions and stories children tell when they feel safe, loved, and seen.
• Emotional Safety: Children need to know they are the priority and loved. If they have to compete with an algorithm or screens for their parents’ eyes, they may eventually stop trying and resort to unhealthy ways of getting attention.
• Presence: Being in the same room is not the same as being "present." We need to make an effort to be present to our children both physically and emotionally.

It is time we reclaimed our relationships. We cannot banish technology, but we must master it before it masters and controls our families. Here are three ways I want to propose that might enable us to tear down the digital wall:

• The "Eyes First" Rule: When your child speaks to you, put the phone face down and make eye contact immediately. Even if you truly need a minute to finish a task, look at them first so they know they have been seen and heard.
• Tech-Free Zones: Designate the dinner table and the hour before bedtime as "Sacred Space." No phones, no scrolling—just the sound of family voices. Remember, a family that prays together and eats together stays together!
• The 5-Minute Reality Check: Apps are designed to keep us scrolling. Set a timer if you must use social media, and when it goes off, return to the physical world.

Our children are only small for a season. The videos on our screens will be forgotten by tomorrow, but the feeling of being ignored by a parent can last a lifetime. Let us put down the devices and pick up the conversation. Our families are worth more than any "like," "share,” or “scroll." I love you!

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